Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I can't help myself

I shouldn't be blogging. I find myself with 50 minutes of unscheduled time. All pressing emails have been reviewed. I'm sure there's others I could answer, but don't have the focus for it. All phone calls have been returned. It would be best if I sit at my desk and quietly dump a thought that has been swirling in my brain.

Ever notice a lingering flavor or taste in your mouth? Ever notice that what lingers is often associate with a particular routine? I've been noticing a funny blend of toothpaste and coffee that accompanies the drive into work. Coffee eventually overtakes any freshness washed through mint flavored floss, Colgate paste and Listerine mouth wash. (Yes, I do all three religiously. I won 1st place in my 8th grade science fair on the topic of dental hygiene. It stuck)

I wonder how much of the coffee taste has turned into offensive breath by the time I greet my co-workers. I don't get too close to whispers in meetings for fear they will be so distracted by the dragon breath that they will completely miss what secret I'm sharing. Guess that means that I have often been distracted by bad breath that I didn't hear something either.

The coffee breath is fed with a few more cups of fuel until lunch. If I'm lucky, the flavors of lunch will occupy my taste networks to being somewhere between satisfied or pleasant. If not, I reach for the Almond M&M's in the candy jar on my desk. Sucking on one at a time tends to keep my mouth happy.

Or else it's the more offensive gum. Ever get annoyed when someone cracks their gum, or chews it like cud while talking to you? I love being the "waitressaurus" when I'm popping gum on the phone with a rude salesperson or customer service agent. Aren't they supposed to be paid to make me a happy customer? If they are rude - I smack gum in their ear. (no, I don't - but I think about it)

I'f I've eaten more than a handful of M&M's, it's time for more offensive coffee. The afternoon brews are usually laced with some flavored syrup - just to break up the monotony of plain old French Roast.

By this point, I've consumed about 4-5 cups of coffee and haven't yet gone to the bathroom. I've allowed only 3 minutes to get from my office to my kids' school to pick them up. Of course, there will be a car blocking me in, so the urgency comes over me from lack of time as well as my bladder.

Is that blood I taste in my mouth or bile?

If I'm not scheduled in the evening, I will actually eat the dinner I've prepared. I'm usually a little reserved on strong flavors, and salt. Not sure why the low salt - it just happens. I like to cook. I like it even better when my family eats what I cook. There is nothing more satisfying than a pleasant lingering flavor on the palate - and not because of something I burped up. Although.... a good craft beer's after effects cannot be helped.

What I like most - is when the lingering tastes in my mouth match the lingering smell of roasted chicken or freshly baked bread. As soon as I notice that - it must be killed with a good ice cream. Or, if I'm being good - I'll brush my teeth and rinse with Listerine once more in order to retire with a virginal mouth.

And now that the random thought has been excised - I just discovered an activity that should take only 35 minutes to complete. The instructions on the survey say that, so I must trust it's a better use of my time.

And yours. But before I close - notice any lingering tastes in your mouth? Is it time to rinse and spit?

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